This is just too cute...
Jan 5, 2012
Jan 4, 2012
parachutes
Day one at school was not that bad...
Minus the part where both of my feet got blisters of my new shoes and the day was really hot and I'm so freaking tired.
But good news, I'm in the same class as my best friend. I feel blessed.
Here goes another waste of another year because of school. Cheers.
Jan 3, 2012
happy and carefree
Hello loves. I know I'm 2 days late, but happy new year!
So what if it's 2012? I'm alive and still kicking. Cheers for that!
You know those shit, 'new year, new me', well too bad, I'm kinda like that but I hide it pretty well. I have so many new year's resolutions... And the first one on my list is the exact words of this post's title - HAPPY AND CAREFREE. Yes, I hate being all fucking sick and tired and being sad and emo. It's keeping myself away from the world outside, as if, it wants me to just be on my bed and relive my stupid, boring, dull life. And today, I said those three little words, so little yet so meaningful, not exactly as in I love you, but as in love you too. And it felt...right? I don't know, I used to feel guilty for just thinking about it but now... I think I'm going to do some changes in me, for the better. In that moment, I was like, fuck this, it's freaking 2012, so why not.
Well...but yet, I feel bittersweet for leaving 2011... I am missing 2011 right now. If I were ever given the chance to relive those days, I would. I fucking would. I certainly maybe got a feeling that this year, 2012, is going to be good in a bad way yet bad in a good way. I hope you guys understand it because I don't quite understand it myself though...
Well. 2012, don't give me false hope, please.
Anyway, I'm turning 16 this year. I wish I live in UK so I won't be stuck in school anymore and then go attend to a college or something. But good news though, 2 more years and I'm done with school. Yay!
So back to 2012, I might going to use this two words on a daily basis from today...WHY NOT? And if I were asked to be on a stage, I'll be saying to myself - why not? If I had to go to a shop to get something for someone even though we just went there a few minutes ago, again - why not? Maybe, just maybe, I might be bumping into my future husband...Just maybe...
So 2012, why freaking not?
Yours truly. x
Ps, you are beautiful, each and every one of you.
Pss, I hope you guys had an amazing way to start 2012, unlike me, I was eating cakes...(don't judge me, even though dieting is in my list of this new year's resolution)
Dec 31, 2011
insecure
Happy New Year's Eve! I am so not ready for 2012 but hell, fuck this shit. I'm going to live my life.
Good news, I'm still alive and still kicking. It felt so good to listen to One Direction's What Makes You Beautiful. Got my mojo back. Now that's what I'm talking about. I'll guess I'll post something about leaving 2011 and having 2012 instead, by tomorrow, which it's going to be 2012 already. Wow, I'm weird.
Yours truly. x
Ps, you are beautiful!
Pss, this is the last post for 2011. Aaaaaaaah. Till next time!
Good news, I'm still alive and still kicking. It felt so good to listen to One Direction's What Makes You Beautiful. Got my mojo back. Now that's what I'm talking about. I'll guess I'll post something about leaving 2011 and having 2012 instead, by tomorrow, which it's going to be 2012 already. Wow, I'm weird.
Yours truly. x
Ps, you are beautiful!
Pss, this is the last post for 2011. Aaaaaaaah. Till next time!
survey
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
Peace Of Mind - Selah Sue
Call Me Up - Chromeo
Unattainable - Little Joy
You've Changed - Sia
Rebecca - Meg & Dia
Look At Me Now - Chris Brown
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
One Direction, please?
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
"So you thought you'd leave it until it was too late for me to say no? Well, you made a mistake."
4) What do you think about most?
One Direction and fiction...
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
"Aah".
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes?
With clothes.
7) What's your strangest talent?
...I can somewhat predict things that might happen in movies and shows...
8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
Girls talk; Boys watch. Lol I don't know.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Unfortunately, never :-(
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
I can't quite remember...but I did played the air drum today though.
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
Not really.....
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
Never...
13) What's your religion?
Islam.
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Listening to music.
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind, would love to be a director.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
Lots! But currently, I'm torn between One Direction and Bombay Bicycle Club.
17) What was the last lie you told?
I lie a lot...
18) Do you believe in karma?
I guess...karma's a bitch, eh?
19) What does your URL mean?
I don't know, all I can think of was how people I know will never find it.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
Greatest weakness - I'm not the one who can fall in love easily... What a shame. But I do want to feel of falling in love.
Greatest strength - I hide my emotions very well...
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
One Direction, Gillian Zinser, Sky Ferreira and Taissa Farmiga at the moment.
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Never but would love to try one day.
23) How do you vent your anger?
I talk to myself and then listen to some songs.
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
I collect resits...and magazines...
25) Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
I don't know. Both but I much prefer texting.
26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
Not much but I have my moments.
27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
Hate - screaming, buffering sounds.
Love - rain, music, people's whispers, guitar, Bon Iver's voice, anything that can get me to sleep.
28) What's your biggest "what if"?
What if I die right now?
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
I guess I believe a bit in ghosts but not in aliens.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
Pillows!
31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
I don't know, air? The smell of my brothers' room.
32) What's the weather like right now?
It's not so hot yet not so cold.
33) Do you have any nicknames?
Qills? But nobody calls me that...
34) What was the last movie you saw?
Sleepers. Brad Pitt was hot back then.
35) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
I don't know, my past injuries were not that bad.
36) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Never...
37) Do you have any obsessions right now?
One Direction!
38) What's your sexual orientation?
Straight but I'll go lesbian anytime for Zooey Deschanel, Katy Perry, Emily Browning, Sky Ferreira and Taissa Farmiga.
39) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
Yup but that's very rare.
40) What is your astrological sign?
Aries!
41) Do you save money or spend it?
I like to save but then I'll spend it afterwards...
42) What's the last thing you purchased?
Heat magazines!
43) Love or lust?
I want to fall in love so bad that it hurts. But right now, I prefer lust.
44) In a relationship?
Yes, I am but I'm not happy.
45) How many relationships have you had?
About 4 and a few flings with the same guy.
46) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Nope, I can't.
47) Where were you yesterday?
Out, with my friends.
48) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Yes, my sister's pillow.
49) Are you wearing socks right now?
No.
50) Spit or swallow?
Ew, neither.
51) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
I was reading a fanfic on my phone while watching The Thing and all I can say is The Thing was such a bore. Don't watch that movie.
52) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
I guess so, but then no.
53) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
Ask people for help since I'm a Muslim and I can't touch dogs, so...
54) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a - I'll tell my family, close friends and cousins.
b - I'll be doing a lot of prayers and live the life but not too much.
c - Yes! I'll be pissing my pants.
55) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.
I prefer trust. Love hurts, so bad.
56) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
One Direction's!
57) How can I win your heart?
Love me for who I am, make me laugh, do silly things with me, have a good taste in music and fashion, love cats and be yourself.
58) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
I think so...
59) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
Love.
60) What is your current desktop picture?
A scenery.
61) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
"Who do you love?"
62) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Run away, fast!
63) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
Fly, invincible, read minds and forever young.
64) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
When I was small where everything doesn't matter and to me, everything was fine and happy.
65) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
A lot, and I'm not going to mention it here...
66) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
I'm torn between Italy, United Kingdom, France and Mecca/Medina.
67) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
Never, thank god.
68) Ever been on a plane?
Yes.
Peace Of Mind - Selah Sue
Call Me Up - Chromeo
Unattainable - Little Joy
You've Changed - Sia
Rebecca - Meg & Dia
Look At Me Now - Chris Brown
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
One Direction, please?
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
"So you thought you'd leave it until it was too late for me to say no? Well, you made a mistake."
4) What do you think about most?
One Direction and fiction...
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
"Aah".
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes?
With clothes.
7) What's your strangest talent?
...I can somewhat predict things that might happen in movies and shows...
8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
Girls talk; Boys watch. Lol I don't know.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Unfortunately, never :-(
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
I can't quite remember...but I did played the air drum today though.
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
Not really.....
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
Never...
13) What's your religion?
Islam.
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Listening to music.
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind, would love to be a director.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
Lots! But currently, I'm torn between One Direction and Bombay Bicycle Club.
17) What was the last lie you told?
I lie a lot...
18) Do you believe in karma?
I guess...karma's a bitch, eh?
19) What does your URL mean?
I don't know, all I can think of was how people I know will never find it.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
Greatest weakness - I'm not the one who can fall in love easily... What a shame. But I do want to feel of falling in love.
Greatest strength - I hide my emotions very well...
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
One Direction, Gillian Zinser, Sky Ferreira and Taissa Farmiga at the moment.
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Never but would love to try one day.
23) How do you vent your anger?
I talk to myself and then listen to some songs.
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
I collect resits...and magazines...
25) Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
I don't know. Both but I much prefer texting.
26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
Not much but I have my moments.
27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
Hate - screaming, buffering sounds.
Love - rain, music, people's whispers, guitar, Bon Iver's voice, anything that can get me to sleep.
28) What's your biggest "what if"?
What if I die right now?
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
I guess I believe a bit in ghosts but not in aliens.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
Pillows!
31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
I don't know, air? The smell of my brothers' room.
32) What's the weather like right now?
It's not so hot yet not so cold.
33) Do you have any nicknames?
Qills? But nobody calls me that...
34) What was the last movie you saw?
Sleepers. Brad Pitt was hot back then.
35) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
I don't know, my past injuries were not that bad.
36) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Never...
37) Do you have any obsessions right now?
One Direction!
38) What's your sexual orientation?
Straight but I'll go lesbian anytime for Zooey Deschanel, Katy Perry, Emily Browning, Sky Ferreira and Taissa Farmiga.
39) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
Yup but that's very rare.
40) What is your astrological sign?
Aries!
41) Do you save money or spend it?
I like to save but then I'll spend it afterwards...
42) What's the last thing you purchased?
Heat magazines!
43) Love or lust?
I want to fall in love so bad that it hurts. But right now, I prefer lust.
44) In a relationship?
Yes, I am but I'm not happy.
45) How many relationships have you had?
About 4 and a few flings with the same guy.
46) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Nope, I can't.
47) Where were you yesterday?
Out, with my friends.
48) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Yes, my sister's pillow.
49) Are you wearing socks right now?
No.
50) Spit or swallow?
Ew, neither.
51) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
I was reading a fanfic on my phone while watching The Thing and all I can say is The Thing was such a bore. Don't watch that movie.
52) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
I guess so, but then no.
53) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
Ask people for help since I'm a Muslim and I can't touch dogs, so...
54) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a - I'll tell my family, close friends and cousins.
b - I'll be doing a lot of prayers and live the life but not too much.
c - Yes! I'll be pissing my pants.
55) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.
I prefer trust. Love hurts, so bad.
56) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
One Direction's!
57) How can I win your heart?
Love me for who I am, make me laugh, do silly things with me, have a good taste in music and fashion, love cats and be yourself.
58) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
I think so...
59) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
Love.
60) What is your current desktop picture?
A scenery.
61) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
"Who do you love?"
62) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Run away, fast!
63) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
Fly, invincible, read minds and forever young.
64) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
When I was small where everything doesn't matter and to me, everything was fine and happy.
65) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
A lot, and I'm not going to mention it here...
66) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
I'm torn between Italy, United Kingdom, France and Mecca/Medina.
67) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
Never, thank god.
68) Ever been on a plane?
Yes.
Dec 30, 2011
fader
Hi. So here goes nothing...
I somewhat hate my family. It's like every time we had an argument, I'm the one to blame. It is as if they're picking on me, every one of them. I'm fucking sick and tired of it. Everything that I do, is completely wrong. I bought clothes, wrong. I swept the floor, wrong, I eat something, wrong. If everything I do, ended up wrong, why am I even alive? You guys could just do an abortion while I was still in my mom's tummy. I don't care if it's killing me, cause at the end, everyone's happy.
I hate my sister, she'a a fucking hypocrite.
I hate how my mum doesn't understand me.
I hate how my dad raises his voice and every time my brother is upset, I'm the one to blame.
I hate how my brother ignores me.
I hate how my other brother is selfish.
I hate myself. I doesn't see why am I still alive and still walking on earth today.
I should kill myself.
I see no harm in it.
So, why not?
Yours truly. x
Ps, anyone who's reading this, you're beautiful and I'm not.
I somewhat hate my family. It's like every time we had an argument, I'm the one to blame. It is as if they're picking on me, every one of them. I'm fucking sick and tired of it. Everything that I do, is completely wrong. I bought clothes, wrong. I swept the floor, wrong, I eat something, wrong. If everything I do, ended up wrong, why am I even alive? You guys could just do an abortion while I was still in my mom's tummy. I don't care if it's killing me, cause at the end, everyone's happy.
I hate my sister, she'a a fucking hypocrite.
I hate how my mum doesn't understand me.
I hate how my dad raises his voice and every time my brother is upset, I'm the one to blame.
I hate how my brother ignores me.
I hate how my other brother is selfish.
I hate myself. I doesn't see why am I still alive and still walking on earth today.
I should kill myself.
I see no harm in it.
So, why not?
Yours truly. x
Ps, anyone who's reading this, you're beautiful and I'm not.
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